My stomach twisted, and I hated that his confession caused any reaction in me besides indifference. It wasn’t fair that he still had the power to hurt me after all this time. “You’re right, it doesn’t help.”

  Although I did find the timing ironic. It sounded like his celibacy started around the same time mine ended. But I wasn’t about to share that bit of information with him. He didn’t deserve to know that I’d spent a full year unable to picture myself kissing another guy, let alone actually sleeping with them. If I hadn’t become friends with Jace while getting the bakery ready to open, Gage probably would’ve still been the last man I slept with.

  Gage took a half step toward me but froze when I lifted a hand to ward him off. “I can’t do any more of this right now.”

  We stared at each other across the counter. His eyes were stripped of every defense he usually hid behind. “I’ll give you space. But I’m not done trying to fix what I broke.”

  I hated that I wanted to believe him.

  8

  GAGE

  During the elevator ride up to Ethan and Callie’s penthouse, I slumped against the wall as a wave of exhaustion hit me. I’d barely slept. Tessa’s pained expression kept replaying every time I shut my eyes. Although I was relieved that she’d never walked away from me like I’d thought for so long, I hated how much my actions had hurt her.

  I forced myself upright when the elevator came to a stop. Since the doorman had called up when I arrived, Ethan waited for me when the doors slid open. “You look like hell.”

  “Thanks, man.” I shook my head with a chuckle. “I can always trust you to be honest with me.”

  He clapped me on the shoulder. “That’s what friends are for.”

  I followed him into the kitchen, my eyes widening when I saw the brunch spread. Enough food to feed a small army covered the marble island. Pancakes, fresh fruit, eggs, pastries, bagels, hash browns, and all sorts of condiments. Including a jar of pickles.

  I flashed a smile at Callie. “If I didn’t already know you were pregnant, this would give it away.”

  She shrugged around a forkful of eggs, and Ethan elbowed me in the side before making his way back to sit on the stool next to her. “Please tell me you’re not here because you missed the point of restructuring the financial division. I’m supposed to be spending less time in the office, not bringing the CEO home with me on the weekends.”

  “I’m not here for work. This is personal.” I dropped onto a stool at the end of the island. “Although there are implications for Langford Tech.”

  Ethan’s brows drew together, but Callie didn’t let him ask any of the questions I saw in his eyes.

  “Eat,” she ordered, pointing at an unused plate. “You look like you haven’t slept, and my husband ordered enough food for the entire building. If you don’t help me out, I’ll have to freeze the pancakes, and the baby only likes them when they’re fresh.”

  Ethan slid the plate toward me, muttering about how they could just order more whenever she had a craving for them again.

  I wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t have the energy to argue. Serving myself some fruit and half a bagel, I asked, “How’s the pregnancy going?”

  “Good except for wavering between being hungry or nauseous all the time.” Callie rolled her eyes. “And emotional. I cried yesterday because Ethan ate the last lemon bar. Which, in my defense, was rude.”

  “I literally went out and bought you an entire new box,” Ethan pointed out with a grin.

  “Doesn’t matter.” Callie lifted her chin. “I wanted that particular lemon.”

  Despite everything weighing on me, my lips twitched. They were ridiculous. And so fucking happy. After everything they’d gone through, they more than earned the ease between them now.

  “Is your mother still abiding by the no-contact rule?” Although I’d known Margot for years, I’d come up with several ideas to make her life hell if she was still crossing lines.

  Callie snorted before Ethan could answer. “Yes, but only because he threatened her money.”

  Ethan didn’t deny it. “Whatever works.”

  Callie rolled her eyes and nudged him with her shoulder. “Healthy boundaries would’ve been enough for me. Your intimidation tactics were just a fun bonus.”

  He slid a hand over her still-flat stomach, and a crushing realization hit me. If I hadn’t let Vanessa wedge her way so deeply into my life, Tessa and I might’ve already been married with a baby of our own. Or if I’d just questioned the breakup text and gone to her apartment myself instead of letting my injured pride dictate my decisions.

  I had to look away before either of them saw I was barely keeping it together. The weight of what I’d lost wasn’t abstract anymore. It was staring me right in the face, in the form of my best friend’s happiness.

  Callie must’ve sensed I was struggling because she set her fork down and looked between Ethan and me. “Maybe you two should talk in private.”

  Ethan stood and jerked his chin toward the hallway. “Come on.”

  “Sure.”

  I followed him into his home office, and when the door clicked shut behind us, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Start talking.”

  “It’s a lot,” I warned.

  “Then start with the worst of it.”

  So I told him everything that mattered, beginning with what all I suspected Vanessa had done. Ethan didn’t interrupt me, but the muscle ticking in his jaw let me know how angry he was.

  When I finished, he fisted his hands at his sides. “Fucking hell, she let you think Tessa dumped you.”

  “I know.” I paced in front of his desk. “How the hell am I supposed to work with her now? The divorce bullshit was one thing, but knowing she sabotaged my life to force a marriage is a different level of fucked up.”

  “You’ll need to be careful.” He leaned against the closed door. “You can’t just fire her when her father co-founded Langford Tech with yours. If you want Vanessa gone, you need something airtight that Rupert can’t easily refute or bury.”

  I hated that he was right. “So I just keep pretending I don’t want to strangle her for how much she hurt Tessa?”

  “Only publicly.” Ethan shrugged. “Behind the scenes, you quietly hire an investigator. Someone who can dig into her phone records, her financials, and her assistant’s activities from back then. The works. Vanessa isn’t a master criminal. There’s bound to be a trail somewhere.”

  “Then I’ll just need to figure out a way to find it.” I felt slightly better now that there was something I could do. “But firing her still won’t be enough. I don’t know how to fix any of this with Tessa, or if I even can. But I can’t let her think I’m not willing to fight for us.”

  Ethan asked the one question I’d hoped to avoid. “Do you have a plan? Because you’re gonna need one.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and mumbled, “Still working on it.”

  “Be ready to grovel for a damn long time.”

  My friend’s warning echoed in my head all day. I hadn’t gotten very far with my plan, but I’d decided on a first step. I didn’t think it counted as groveling, though. Just something I should’ve done three years ago.

  When I pulled up in front of Hale & Honey, the bakery’s windows were dimmed. The CLOSED sign was already flipped in the door, but I could see Tessa inside at the counter. I’d timed my arrival for only a few minutes after closing in the hope that I’d catch her by herself, and it looked like I was in luck.

  I gently rapped my knuckles against the door, and her gaze snapped up to meet mine. She didn’t look away as she rounded the counter and crossed to the front. I hated how guarded her eyes were, but I had earned her wariness.

  She unlocked the door but only opened it a few inches. “Why are you here?”

  I reached into the inner pocket of my jacket and pulled out the neatly folded, knitted cashmere I’d kept all this time. Tessa gasped when she saw her mother’s scarf.

  I held it out with both hands. “I found this on the hook behind my entryway closet door about a week after everything went to hell.”

  “I thought you’d forgotten to put it in the box when…you know.”

  Unfortunately, I knew too well what she’d assumed now that I’d found out she hadn’t walked away from me. “And I thought you forgot to take it with you. I could never bring myself to get rid of something that was the only piece of you I had left.”

  Her expression wavered for a moment, but then her walls slammed back into place.

  She drew in a shaky breath and opened the door just enough to take the scarf from my hands. “This doesn’t fix anything.”

  “I didn’t think it would,” I murmured around the lump in my throat. “It’s just that I should’ve returned it a long time ago because I know how much losing your mom hurt you. I’m finally doing the right thing.”

  She pressed the scarf to her chest as the silence stretched between us. There was so much more I wanted to say, but I needed to think of what Tessa needed first.

  “I hope you have a nice night.” It was the safest thing I could say when every instinct in me was begging to stay.

  Turning and walking away was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But as she shut and locked the door behind me, I reminded myself that at least the groveling had begun. I’d made one small step in the right direction and only had about a thousand more to go.

  9

  TESSA

  After locking the door, I held myself together until Gage’s car disappeared down the street. Only then did I look down at the scarf in my hands.

  My fingers trembled so badly I almost dropped it. I never thought I’d have this part of my mom back again. I couldn’t believe he’d kept it for so long.

  I pressed the cashmere to my face, breathing in a faint hint of lavender that shouldn’t have still been there. Fabric didn’t hold scents for that long, but grief could be tricky.

  I was halfway to my office when I couldn’t hold my sob back any longer. Dropping to my knees right there in the hallway, I clutched my mom’s scarf like it was the only thing holding me together while I cried.

  Hot tears soaked into the soft material as I let out everything I’d been holding inside. My tears weren’t just from the relief of getting this treasured memento back. The fabric now carried two ghosts—the mother who I’d lost forever and the man who I’d spent three years trying to forget.

  I cried until my side hurt, and nothing was left inside me except exhaustion. As grateful as I was to have the scarf back, his gesture ripped open every crack I’d tried to bury under layers of buttercream for the past three years.

  My mom would’ve known exactly what to say to make me feel better, and it hurt so much that I couldn't call her. So I did the only thing I could.

  On shaky legs, I pulled out my phone and called my dad as I walked into my office.

  He answered on the second ring. “Hey, sweetheart. How’re you doing?”

  Just hearing his voice made my eyes burn all over again.

  “Hi, Dad,” I managed.

  He might’ve been twelve hundred miles away, but there was no missing how my voice cracked. “What’s wrong?”

  I dropped onto my chair. “I’m okay. I just had something unexpected happen tonight.”

  “Tell me.” I’d heard that tone plenty of times growing up, and it left no room for evasion.

  I drew in a shaky breath. “Remember that cashmere scarf of Mom’s?”

  “The one that rat bastard never returned to you?”

  “Yeah.” I winced as I realized this conversation was going to be tougher than I expected. We hadn’t talked about Gage in a couple of years, so I hadn’t really thought about how his anger had probably not disappeared during that time. “He brought it back to me tonight.”

  His breath caught. “Oh, honey.”

  “I know I’m imagining it, but I could almost swear it still smells like her.” I buried my face in the cashmere again for another whiff.

  “If it brings her closer to you, that’s real enough.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered.

  “I hate that you had to see him, but I’m glad you finally have it back. Your mom loved that scarf. She’d be happy you’re holding it again.”

  A tear slid down my cheek, and neither of us spoke for a moment. I could hear waves in the background and idly wondered what the weather was like in Florida. He’d moved five years ago after losing Mom because he couldn’t stand being surrounded by memories. I’d almost gone with him, but I’d just started a new job. Only a few months later, I met Gage and quickly started to fall for him.

  Dad cleared his throat. “Are you alone?”

  “Yeah, I’m at the bakery, and everyone else has left for the day.”

  “Do you want company?”

  I had no doubt he’d hop on a plane if I said I needed him, just like he’d done when I fell apart three years ago. “I’m okay. I just needed to hear your voice.”

  “You can call me anytime,” he reminded me. “Day or night. You know that.”

  “I do.”

  “Was that the only reason he was there?”

  I froze at his question, unsure how much I wanted to share. He couldn’t do anything about what I’d learned, and I didn’t want to worry him needlessly. Besides, I doubted anything much was going to change. Gage already gave me the only thing I needed from him tonight.

  Although my ex might’ve had ulterior motives for coming, he hadn’t shared them with me. So I was honest when I answered, “Yes.”

  “Good. I just want you to be happy, Tess. Whoever that’s with…or without.”

  My fingers tightened around the scarf. “I’m good, Dad. Really.”

  “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”

  Another tear slipped down my cheek. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “Anytime.”

  “I should finish closing up. Love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  When the call ended, I didn’t feel quite so alone. But my dad’s words about being happy struck a chord in me. As much as I cared about Jace, I didn’t see a future with him beyond friendship. And holding on to something half right suddenly felt worse than letting go.

  By the time I washed my face and finished my closing routine, the sun was setting. Once I steadied my breathing, I locked up and walked next door to Jace’s shop.

  The bell above the door chimed softly as I stepped inside. Jace looked up from tuning a guitar behind the counter, and his whole face lit up. But the instant he registered my expression, his smile faltered. Setting the guitar aside, he asked, “Everything okay?”

  I answered his question with one of my own. “Can we talk?”

  “Sure.” He brushed his palms on his jeans, bracing himself.

  I crossed the room, buying myself a few more seconds before saying something I knew would hurt him. Then I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. “You deserve a woman who doesn’t hold back. Someone who can give you all of themselves.”

  His jaw tightened, but he didn’t interrupt.

  “And I care about you too much to pretend I can do that.”

  Disappointment, hurt, and something heavier than either of us wanted to name shone in his eyes, but all he did was let out a resigned sigh. “Yeah. I figured this was coming.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “You’ve been nothing but good to me.”

  Jace gave me a sad smile. “I knew you weren’t over him, Tessa. I just hoped you’d eventually be, and then you’d be ready for more with me.”

  My heart twisted because I hated that he wanted more while I kept giving him only pieces of myself.

  “Jace,” I murmured, reaching for him on instinct.

  He lifted a hand to stop me. “It’s okay. Really. I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with me.”

  “I want the same for you.”

  He’d make someone such a great boyfriend. Just not me.

  “I’d still like to be your friend,” he added. “If that’s something you want.”

  The ache in my chest intensified. “I really do.”

  He tried smiling again, but the warmth didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Then we’ll figure it out. Just maybe give me a little time.”

  “Of course.”

  I left his shop feeling both relieved and guilty. Ending things had been the right choice, but it hadn’t been an easy one.

  Needing to be alone, I headed home. The apartment was dark when I walked inside, but I didn’t bother turning on the lights. I just toed off my shoes, set my keys on the kitchen counter, and curled up on the couch with my mom’s scarf in my lap.

  At least the crying was done. For now, anyway. And for the first time since Gage showed up at the bakery door this evening, I felt something ease inside me.

  I wasn’t at peace, but I had a little more clarity.

  I’d been running from the truth for three years. Pretending Gage was nothing more than the man who broke me. That the heartbreak had cauterized every part of me that used to belong to him.

  But when I closed my eyes, I saw how unguarded he’d been when he handed me the scarf. I’d never seen him be so open back then.

  And for the first time since I found out that he was engaged to Vanessa, thinking about him didn’t ignite only anger. Even if he’d messed up in ways I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive, I finally knew he hadn’t meant to end us, let alone erase me from his life.

  Before I could talk myself out of it, I reached for my phone on the coffee table. My thumb hovered over the screen before I pulled our text messages and typed.

  Me

  Thank you for bringing the scarf back.

  I stared at the message long enough for doubt to crawl in. Then I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it. It didn’t take long for the Read status to appear beneath it.

  I wasn’t ready to forgive Gage or let him back in, but I was happier than I should’ve been that he’d taken the time to find my real number and unblock me on his phone.

 

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