Traveler, p.1
Traveler, page 1
part #3 of Starstruck Series
TRAVELER
© S.E. Anderson 2018
Cover Art by S.E. Anderson
Edited by Michelle Dunbar, Cayleigh Stickler and Anna Johnstone.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, scanning, uploading to the internet, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher and/or author, except in the case of brief quotations for reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination, or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental.
First published in 2018 by Bolide Publishing Limited
bolidepublishing.com
For Hugo,
My Spaceman
TITLES BY S.E. ANDERSON
Starstruck Saga
Starstruck
Alienation
NOVELLAS:
Miss Planet Earth
The Horrible Habits of Humans (Pew! Pew! - Bite My Shiny Metal Pew!)
Miss Planet Earth and the Amulet of Beb-Sheb-Na (Pew! Pew! Volume 4: Bad versus Worse)
Dark Star (From the Stars, Torment Publishing)
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
The Most Interesting Closet in the Universe
CHAPTER TWO
You can actually Get In a Lot of Trouble In An Hour5
CHAPTER THREE
Fifteen Ways to Look Cool On TV
CHAPTER FOUR
The Universe’s Most Excited Fangirl
CHAPTER FIVE
Zander and the Real World: Space Edition
CHAPTER SIX
Per Usual, Everything Goes from Bad, To Worse
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Sky is Falling, Sally Webber!
CHAPTER EIGHT
Things Were Easier When Everything Was Scripted
CHAPTER NINE
Away with the Away Team
CHAPTER TEN
I Saw This In a Movie Once, But It’s A Hundred Times Worse When You Live It IRL
CHAPTER ELEVEN
In Which Zander Accidentally Creates a New Religion
CHAPTER TWELVE
Into the Snow Globe We Go
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Pretending to be Half Interesting in Order to Survive
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Crash Course In Space History 101
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
We are Our Own Party Poopers
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I Should Have Watched More Than Half An Episode of Prison Break
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The Real Price of Space Trash
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
So Many Egos, So Little Time
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Fixing All of Our Messes, Or, At Least, Getting a Head Start on Them
CHAPTER TWENTY
I Get My Flirt On
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Dammed by the Universe
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Wrong Place, Wrong Time, and another Traumatic Memory Being Born
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Space Travel Takes My Breath Away
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
It Shouldn’t Be This Hard to Search a Spaceship
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Bet You Didn’t See Any of This Coming
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
The Season Finale to End all Finales
CHAPTER ONE
THE Most Interesting Closet in the Universe
When you hear knocking at the door in the middle of the night, you may be inclined to answer it; if you’re in an alien space hotel, it’s probably a bad idea.
My first instinct was to ignore it. For a few blissful minutes, I half-believed I was back on Earth waking from a bad dream—a dream in which my best friend had gotten me lost in some forgotten corner of the universe with no way of knowing how to get back to Earth. But that was a lie. The more aware I became, the more certainly I knew I was anywhere but home.
That might have had something to do with the giant window to my left, past which alien fish were swimming and paying a pretty penny to see what was unofficially an alien zoo. They stopped when they realized I was awake, probably hoping to glimpse some cool “alien” tricks. I groaned and tossed a pillow at them. It bounced off the glass, landing on the floor.
I sat up, groggy, letting my eyes become accustomed to the gloom. The room was dimly bathed in gentle waves of light, cast by the immense ocean outside. It would have been nice to watch, if it wasn’t for the pounding on the door.
“Coming, coming,” I grumbled, pulling myself from the warm sheets and shuffling to the door. It was probably Zander, back with an exciting story of Blayde’s exploits at the hoverpool table.
Before I could reach the lock, the door flew off its hinges, slamming into the window across the room. Three men shoved inside, their weapons glinting in the ocean’s blue glow. They pushed past the shattered doorframe toward me.
I didn’t have time to move. They lifted me off my feet and shoved into the wall before I could make a sound. The gloved hand was sticky against my neck, the grip was hella strong. My breathing was ragged against his palm, and pain radiated through my body.
Oh, shit. This was not good.
One of them flipped the light switch, illuminating not only the room but themselves. Finally, I saw their faces: definitely not human. Bald and green, with pointed ears and squashed noses, and taller than any human I knew. My first thought was of a goblin or an orc.
This really wasn’t Earth, but I still hoped it was a dream, the same way I’d hoped this whole disaster was a dream. I especially hoped this part wasn’t real because I had no intention of dying.
“Who … what …?” I hissed through my constricted windpipe. Bad idea. My mouth tasted metal, burning fire. Stars flickered in front of my vision, and not the pretty space kind.
I swung a foot forward and was rewarded with a grunt of pain. The hand around my throat loosened, and I crumbled to the floor, panting heavily. But there was no time to catch my breath. I psyched myself up to hop on my feet, take a fighting stance, and defend myself against the intruders.
Which I would have done, had I been someone with even a minute of training. Middle school karate club didn’t count. I didn’t have the strength to even get off the floor. All I could do was breathe as I struggled to get air into my lungs. Dark and bright spots flickered before my eyes, blinding out everything else.
Only three days had passed since I had survived my ordeal on Da-Duhui, falling miles down the chasm of their highways and taking a pounding from robot-zombie-aliens. The bruises had barely healed, yet here I was, being attacked once again.
“J’quad, that’s not her,” said one of the attackers. I was too busy staring at the ground to know which one.
“What do you mean that’s not her?” said the one closest to me, wheezing. Apparently, I had struck gold with my swinging feet. Maybe luck would go my way tonight after all.
“It’s human, though.”
“How would I know? They all look the same!”
“Woah, man, that’s specist,” said the third guy. “It might be true, but you don’t say that!”
“The human can’t understand me. Chill, bud,” said the wheezing one.
I could have pointed out that the universal translator sitting behind my ear did a great job of conveying what they were saying, though my lips stayed sealed. I might have been a survival novice, but I knew better than to throw away an advantage.
“Human,” hissed the one behind me. The tone of his voice changed.
I heard the words coming from his mouth but understood them as English. I was still getting used to the device, but it was probably the best thing to come out of this whole ordeal. Maybe after all this was done and I was home, I could watch anime without subs or dubs.
“Are you the human they call Blayde?” he asked, his sense of urgency clear.
Well of course they were after Blayde. The woman was unhinged. As an immortal, it seemed she had no limits; when she wasn’t off saving the world, she was cutting deals with shady lowlifes. There was no in-between with her. What she had done this time, I couldn’t even begin to imagine.
“No. I’m Sally Webber,” I said, pulling my legs under me and easing myself into a seat. It wasn’t a good position to be in. They had the upper hand on me, and I knew it. The one who had pinned me against the wall was wincing, still in pain from my kick. Go, me.
“She’s lying,” said the one closest to the door–or, more accurately, to where the door had been before they’d busted it. “Humans lie to get their own way.”
“The Blayde one has different colored hair, though, more…”—the middle one waved his gnarled green fingers around his head—“explody. Red, orange. This one doesn’t.”
“She might have changed”—wheeze—“before we got here. An alien camouflage,” said the one I had kicked.
“We know she’s with them! They’re the only humans in this place.” The third one stormed over to me, lowering his weapon so it pointed between my eyes. I strained to stare down the barrel, trembling. Good Lord, please let this be a dream. “Give us our falushing money!”
“I don’t have your money, please, I—”
They hit the floor simultaneously, and there, standing above them, was Zander, looking dapper in a trim crimson suit. He shot me a look, his b
Zander, one of my closest friends and interstellar… something. I still wasn’t sure if he was a mythical hero or an outer space outlaw, but I didn’t think he knew either. Like his sister, he was immortal and had lived so long his own home planet was lost to him. He was my best friend and the person who had stranded me on the far side of the universe rolled up into one, a paradox I was still trying to work out.
“Sally,” he said, eyes wide, reaching a hand to help me up. “Are you hurt? What did they do?”
“Nothing.” I rubbed my neck and took his hand. A few seconds was all it took to ruin a perfectly good throat. “They were looking for Blayde, but they didn’t have time to hurt me.”
“That’s a relief.” Zander helped me up, glanced me over, and nodded. “Look, Sally, I’m—”
“This is why we don’t let anyone come with us.”
Blayde stood in the doorway, her rainbow hair flowing in an invisible breeze. She wore a tight, silver cocktail dress, the kind a Bond girl would be comfortable in.
Zander’s sister and only other immortal in the room, perhaps in the entire universe, made me anxious simply by existing. The woman didn’t like me all that much, despite the fact I had proved myself to her at least twice. I had helped save my own planet then Da-Duhui. That had to count for something. She had been polite enough during our stay in this hotel, but only when she had to. Any other time, she avoided me like the plague–though maybe not the plague, seeing as how catching it wouldn’t phase her one way or another.
“Sally was sleeping and still managed to get in trouble.” She stepped over an unconscious alien. An incredible feat in those insanely high heels of hers. “I keep telling you bringing her along was a big mistake.”
“Excuse me?” I said. “I didn’t have anything to do with this, they were after you. It’s not like I asked to be stuck here. So, what did you do this time?”
“I was trying to pay our bill.”
“Our number one priority is getting her home,” said Zander and turned to me. “Sally, this won’t happen again. I promise.”
“Stop making promises you can’t keep,” said Blayde.
“Only when you stop hustling hoverpool.”
“It got us the money for the hotel, didn’t it?” She reached down to pick up a gun, sniffed it, shrugged, and hung on to it. “Sally, pack your things. We’re leaving.”
“What, now?”
“Yes, now,” she said, glaring at Zander. Whatever problems she had with me seemed to emanate from him.
And so, I packed. I didn’t ask questions; I knew better than that. I had enough information to understand that she had been running a scam in the game lounge and had conned the wrong people. It was odd that the woman who had saved billions of people on Da-Duhui was also playing hoverpool schemes to get an easy buck.
Then again, it wasn’t like anybody paid her to save the world. A girl has to eat somehow.
The hotel was empty enough that no one had heard the commotion in my room. Zander dragged the bodies away (just unconscious, I hoped) as I packed. I stuffed all my earthly belongings into my duffel bag. IPod, dwindling prescription bottle, clothes, toothbrush, towel. I decided to keep the silky pajamas the hotel staff had given me, in case I’d be sleeping somewhere strange tomorrow night. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt, laced up my chucks, and was ready for the next jump.
Ready to go home, if indeed we were lucky enough to get there on the next try. The way jumping worked was randomized. You could only go back to the last place you visited. With Earth a few jumps behind us, finding it again would be nearly impossible.
But a girl can dream.
Zander came in next, changed from his bright red suit to something less conspicuous: a silver-gray pair of pants and a lighter gray shirt, hair standing tall and reaching for the heavens. Blayde followed in the same colorless clothes, tight leggings whereas Zander had loose pants.
“Let’s go,” she said, without asking if either of us were ready. She was ready, so we must be, too. I took their hands, and my atoms scattered across the tide of space.
For a few nauseating seconds, the only thing left in the universe was the dark. The dread. A cold nothing. It clung to me, seeping into my bones and freezing me to the core.
I felt like this would be my lot in life, forever. Like I would be stuck in this in-between, the backstage of the universe. But the darkness flickered, wavering like a candle’s flame.
Somehow, I felt the intensity of the universe, its size, its scale, but it was like there was a curtain between me and it. I felt part of the whole; part of the everything, and yet I was nothing.
And then, as quickly as it had struck, the darkness pulled away. Whoosh. The blindfold was ripped off, the universe snatched away—and I was in a broom closet.
The hair on my arms prickled as I was met with an unpleasant cold, the kind that nipped at your skin and made you regret not bringing a sweater. Not that I could do anything about that. Unless we had hit Earth on our first attempt, my closest sweater was a few light years away, along with all my other clothes, personal belongings, family, and friends. Which left me in a broom closet with two aliens, neither of whom seemed bothered by our being here.
I inhaled a deep gulp of stale air. It tasted processed, recycled. There was a hint of metal in the aftertaste, iron coating the back of my tongue. But it was real; not fresh, but real, and I forced the oxygen into my lungs.
My heart beat again. When had it stopped? The jolt surprised me, like a harsh reminder that, yes, it was supposed to pump blood through my veins. Warmth trickled through my body, silently re-acquainting itself with my limbs.
Or not so silently. My stretch smacked one of the mop handles, knocking over the carefully stacked brooms and whacked Zander on the head. He put them back in order like it was the most natural thing in the world to do after making it through vast distances in space.
Odd to think we were breaking the laws of physics. Maybe if we acted casual enough, science wouldn't catch up with us.
"Arms-fingers-toes-shoulders-head-feet, all here," said Blayde. She was close enough for her breath to make the hair on my neck stiffen. "All in one piece."
"Arms-fingers-toes-shoulders-head-feet-Sally, all here," Zander replied, composed and as calm as his sister.
There was a pause, and Zander finally made eye contact with me, his head twisting at an uncomfortable angle. The room was small, and I suddenly realized that his leg was touching mine.
"Um, I'm in one piece, too," I said, awkwardly, pulling my foot away. I wasn't sure what the protocol was after a jump, seeing as the only times I had traveled this way I had passed out or gone a little loopy.
"Not going to throw up this time, then?" asked Blayde.
I didn't have to answer. Jumping randomly through space could do that to a person, sometimes, but the fact I was standing there in one piece, holding back the bile in the back of my throat, was enough to show I wasn't going to. I nodded at her, head held high.
"Where are we now?" Blayde asked, trying to turn around. I let out a grunt as her elbow jabbed my back, and, per usual, she ignored me. I shot her a glare, not that she noticed.
"Broom cupboard," Zander said, scanning the walls. "One unit long by one unit wide, maybe three high. Five brooms and a mop. And—"
"I can see that, you egg salad croissant," Blayde snapped, reaching over me to smack his head. He pushed her back, jolting me around, and I pulled my arms close to my chest to get out of their way. Brooms shimmied and rattled in their wake.
"But, in all seriousness," he said, lifting his arms as far above his head as they could go, "not quite three high." He put his arms down and bumped the brooms again. They fell over, as was to be expected, and it was my turn to catch them, right in the shoulder.
"So, um, where is this broom closet exactly?" I asked, shoving the brooms against the wall and edging out of the way. Blayde's shoulder in my back was starting to hurt. Zander lifted a corner of his mouth to give me a sly half-grin that his sister couldn’t see. I smiled back, a little shaky still.
"Want to make an educated guess?" he asked, gesturing to the room with arms as wide as they could go.
I snorted. "How am I supposed to tell where we are? You two are the space travelers. I'm fairly sure I don't have the experience or know-how."
